There comes a time, when you are alone and waiting to be attacked by zombies in an abandoned warehouse, that you wonder if you’ve made a wise decision by volunteering to be the one who’ll “guard the rear”.
With the gloom making it difficult to say whether that shape I just saw is friend or shuffling undead I wait… until a zombie crashes over the boxes to my right and I’ve got less than a second to get that crucial headshot.
But let’s back up a second, shall we. How did I get into this situation in the first place?
The Zombie Bootcamp experience starts as I pull up at an industrial estate in some peaceful Worcestershire countryside. The news reports are grim: zombie outbreaks continuing throughout the country and special assault squads being dispatched to try and contain the situation.
As a volunteer member of a new squad I get myself decontaminated, kitted up with weapons, armor and boots, meet up with other volunteers (a hardy bunch, by the look of them), and get debriefed on what’s going on. Then the training starts.
My previous combat experience consists mainly of watching Die Hard over and over again as an impressionable youth (I still can’t get in a lift without looking for a hatch in the roof)… so this a whole new deal for me, and no-one is impressed with my suggestion that we all wear grubby vests. Oh well.
We get a short, sharp lesson in working as a team when bursting into a room that might be filled with hordes of the undead. Let’s just say this: checking behind you is a necessary survival skill! Weapons training, moving by vehicle (harder than you might think) and patrolling are all drilled into us. As night draws in the news comes in: the outbreak is here. Zombies have broken through the perimeter and Milla Jojovich is nowhere to be seen.
She’s never around when you need her.
Our new-found squad tactics are tested in clearing out rooms with actual honest-to-god Zombies in them. Two hits in the head and move on. Don’t leave any of them behind of you. Work as a team. Your training, which seems like it was only minutes ago – mainly because it was – really kicks in.
As the facility falls apart, with flames and smoke kicking up everywhere, you get the order to move inside the main plant and clear it out. This is close-quarters stuff, in the gloom (with only scattered lights and the torches slung underneath your weapons to light the way), with zombies. Trying to eat you.
Which, I think, is where we came in. As the zombie clears the boxes I line up my shot and send him on his way. Joining up with the rest of the squad we clear out the rest of the building. It’s tiring stuff and the zombies just seem to keep coming.. almost as if they knew shortcuts through the building. Suspicious.
When the job is done we regroup at HQ with a cup of tea – we are British after all – and a debriefing session. What worked, what didn’t, and who, unfortunately, got eaten. Happily, our squad made it through the operation unscathed. This time. Will you be so lucky? Don’t wait for the inevitable zombie apocalypse to find out – join up today!
Zombie Bootcamp experience for 2 is available now from Buyagift.co.uk for £108. It’s definitely not for the faint-hearted.
